Deep Conversation Starters To Build Enduring Connections

Making friends and new connections can be inspiring, but what do you do when you’ve exhausted the small-talk topics as you get to know someone? Yikes—we hear you—that can be challenging!

But it doesn’t have to be. If you’ve graduated from our basic conversation starters (you’ll find more than 100 of them here), we’re here to offer 23 surefire conversation starters to nurture a deeper connection.

Not sure you’re ready for a more personal connection? You might consider that study after study shows people love to talk about themselves. In fact, researchers have found that creating a bond over a good conversation boosts neural activity in the brain within areas associated with reward and motivation. That’s because talking can help us create new social ties, and we’ve been wired to connect in this exact way for all sorts of reasons, from physical survival to increasing happiness.

So try one of our conversation starters and fire up those neurons!

Deep conversation starters

1. Ask about their ethics and values.

  • What do you love the most about your work?
  • What’s one opinion you have that you feel really passionate about?
  • What inspires you?
  • Do you think the world is better off now than it was 20 years ago?
  • Do you think you could ever go back to living without technology?
  • What’s one thing in the world you would change if you could?

2. Talk about dreams and goals.

  • What’s most important to you in your life right now?
  • Do you think you’ll still be doing what you’re doing today in five years?
  • How have your priorities changed in the past few years?
  • Do you have a role model?
  • What are the top three things on your bucket list?
  • Do you have any big goals left for this year?

3. Ask about the past.

  • What do you miss the most about being a kid?
  • What’s the thing you’re most proud of in your life?
  • If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
  • What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?
  • Who in your life has had the biggest influence on you?
  • What’s one of your favorite memories?

4. Talk about emotions.

  • What’s the last thing that really moved you?
  • Tell me a life-changing piece of advice you’ve gotten.
  • When do you feel the most happy?
  • What’s one thing that really scares you?
  • If you could change one thing about your personality, what would you change?

Learn the best and most fulfilling ways to answer "What are you doing next?"

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