The word suicide shocks not my ear, appals not my understanding.
And what appals me most of all is that I shrink from going on deck to face it.
The wickedness of London appals me; and yet I am no paragon.
I am singing, doctor, to divert my attention from a sight which appals me.
But it is not the waste of blood that so appals, it's the waste of effort and the waste of heroism.